Super depressing news about Tour of Turkey

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I have been unable to sleep at night lately, that’s how upset I am at the postponement of the Tour of Turkey. In its first year as a ProTour event, this incredible bike race is incredibly having incredible difficulty attracting top teams. Only one ProTour team has agreed to race the event, the little-known Norwegian outfit Rumpe Ansikt, with the rest of the teams as follows, none of which is on the ProTour:

  1. Pullea Pyöräilijä (Finland)
  2. Team Ultimul Loc (Rumania)
  3. Equipe Csalók (Hungary)
  4. команда хакеров (Russia)
  5. 암살자 (North Korea)
  6. Team Narcotrafico (Venezuela)
  7. Team Elektromotor (Belgium, DS Ryder Hesjedal)

Anyway, it’s really a shame that the heavy hitters on the ProTour haven’t signed up for this race, just because its April date conflicts with Liège-Bastogne-Liège. What legitimate pro would rather win a race called “The Queen of the Classics” than, say, the stage from Aksaray to Konya?

But what really kills me is that this is another attempt by foreign influences seeking to destroy the country (read: Fethullah Gülen) and ruin the good name of Turkish president Tayyip Recep Erdogan (pronounced “bloodthirsty dictator” in English). Just because Erdogan has imprisoned and tortured thousands, murdered Kurdish politicians, arrested journalists, perverted the judiciary, and declared opposition parties “terrorist organizations,” just because he has brought on a horrific terrorist attack at the airport in Istanbul, just because he sued a German comedian for calling him a goat sodomizer, and just because a rolling peloton of foreigners would be a perfect target for a terrorist attack doesn’t mean that cyclists shouldn’t support this great race.

Especially if you’re Armenian.

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