Save the kids on foot, kill the kids on bikes

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There will be a die-in on Tuesday, December 13, from 4:00 to 5:00 PM, at the Malaga Cove Plaza. If you’ve ever been hit by a car or know someone who has, this is the time to come and show solidarity with the dead, catastrophically injured, and all others who’ve suffered simply because they decided to legally ride a bicycle on the street.

The goal is to encourage the four members of the PVE City Council to erect Bikes May Use Full Lane signage per the traffic safety committee’s engineering recommendation.

Of course, not everyone wants to put on a fake bloody t-shirt and drape themselves over their bikes in the posture of a cadaver. For those who desire to make their concerns heard orally, there will also be a city council meeting later that evening at 7:30 PM. At the city council meeting, you’re encouraged to submit a separate speaker card for every single item on the agenda. The city council really encourages participatory democracy and appreciates it when people speak in detail about issues they confront.

There is however one key item on the city’s agenda that you should definitely speak up on.

This is Agenda Item #9, consideration of traffic safety committee’s recommendation to install a crosswalk for kids walking to school. This has come up twice before the traffic safety committee, just like the recommendation to install BMUFL signs. But I digress. But not really.

As with the BMUFL signs, the traffic safety committee considered the special snowflake NIMBY arguments against doing something for the safety of small children, then went ahead and recommended what anyone on a committee named “traffic safety” would recommend: Slap down some paint to protect children crossing the street.

This item, approved by the traffic safety committee (just like the BMUFL signs!) now goes before the city council for a vote (just like the BMUFL signs)!

This is your opportunity to speak on this issue and point out that the city council has the same obligation to immediately take steps to protect pedestrians that it has to protect bicyclists. In case you wonder why PVE kiddies and their parents are getting chubbier and chubbier, take a look at this photo:

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Yup. Few of these people live more than a few minutes away from school, but would you really stick your kid up that pedestrian gauntlet of death? Here’s what THAT looks like:

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Aside from the dig by the city of Palos Verdes Estates at low-rent Rancho Palos Verdes by leaving the “s” off its name, note that the low-rent RPV streets have pedestrian sidewalks, just like parts of low-rent RPV have bike lanes.

Fancy PVE, however, hates anything that detracts from its rural charm, you know, the rural charm of being in a city of 15 million people. That’s also called the “unicorn fart” charm, and can be found in the same location, i.e. Delusionland. So, no street lights, no sidewalks, minimal pedestrian crosswalks for kids, and not one single BMUFL sign. Part of rural charm means hitting people with your car, doncha know?

But back to the city council meeting. You need to put in a speaker card for this issue and remind the city council of the following:

  1. Safe streets shouldn’t have to wait for the completion of the city’s Unicorn Fart Master Safety Traffic Plan which still has no timetable or funding.
  2. Kids walking to school in safety is a good thing.
  3. Kids riding bikes to school in safety is a good thing.
  4. Caving in to safety-hating NIMBYs over logic, sound engineering, and common sense, is a bad thing.
  5. If you want a healthier PVE, get people walking when they’re young.
  6. If you want less traffic congestion in PVE, get moms and dads walking to school with their kids instead of driving them in Buffalomobiles.
  7. If you think that dead road users is a bad thing, put up the fucking BMUFL signs already. Dead bikers are just as bad as dead pedestrian children.

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