South Bay News and Racist Round-Up

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Lots going on in the South Bay this week, some good, some bad, some gay.

  1. There’s a Saturday beer pub crawl, meeting at 5 Guys Burgers on Lomita and Hawthorne for lunch, then cruising over to Strand Brewing Co. around one o’clock, and from there we’ll hit Monkish Brewing, Smog City, and Absolution. This is our Gay Day in LA Bike Ride, organized as an alternative to Brad House’s Mt. Baldy Time Trial. Brad is a huge supporter of the Confederate flag and a 2nd Amendment gun nut. He sneaked in a “sponsor” logo for Oath Keepers at his LA Circuit Race this past April while billing the race as a Bahati Foundation partner and “in memory of Jorge Alvarado.” He also solicited support from the extremely inclusive and progressive Velo Club LaGrange. I seriously doubt that these partners would have been so quick to lend House a hand if they had known who Oath Keepers is. You can support Brad’s race, homophobia, and racism, or you can have a fun time sampling the South Bay’s best. Craft water available for those of us who don’t drink.
  2. Winningest bike racer in SoCal returns to LA. Josh A., the only racer in Southern California who has won every race he’s entered in 2015, showed up on yesterday’s NPR. Following *someone’s* attack in the neutral zone, Josh kept the pace lively until someone spotted a beer can on the side of the road. *Someone* infuriated the peloton by attacking and following breakaway rules, i.e. don’t stop unless you’re killed or in the presence of law enforcement. The attack of *someone* came to a bad end when a cop showed up at the red light after the turnaround. On Lap 4 a glorious victory was taken by Cory W. as he and Wily scampered through an orange light to claim the spoils.
  3. Boozy’s return. Famed South Bay mechanic and hops expert Boozy P. reappeared at NPR and later that evening again at the TELO training crit for his semiannual bike ride, during which events he beat dozens of people who train 300 miles a week but apparently don’t drink enough beer.
  4. Cobley Corner claims another victim. The most dangerous turn on the bike path, Cobley Corner, claimed another victim last week when Tyler F. fell and suffered horrific, life-altering, catastrophic injuries. Graphic photos below, viewer discretion advised.
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  6. South Bay Cycling Awards Sponsored by SPY Optic. The date is October 17, starting at 5:00 PM at the new Strand Brewing Co.’s massive facility. I tried to pimp it on Facegag, but they limited my spam to 450 “friends,” as if I had any. Mark your calendar. Twenty categories, guest speaker Steve Tilford being flown in (he’ll also join us for the morning Donut Ride), and I’ll get to show a crowd what I look like when I’m sober, and what a tux looks like with a SPY t-shirt.
  7. Local wanker gets fit just in time to quit riding. If you’ve been seeing Rico Borracho, the former Big O-turned-Hot Wheels Cat 3 sandbagger out on the roads, it’s been a welcome return. Rico had to leave his Cat 3 career to finish school and get a job a few years back, and he’s in between gigs, starting a new job designing satellites in two weeks. I’m sure none of our Garmins will now work. During the break he’s been killing it and getting super fast, laying down his trademark Rudy-Stathis swerve in order to get rid of wheelsuckers and old people. We’ll miss him when he goes off to the salt mines again.
  8. New nickname anointment. NJ Pedalbeater, the infamous character who rides 300 miles before lunch, wins the Cat 3 BWR division solo, and crushes everyone with his mad descending skills that keep him glued to the borderline between victory and catastrophic injury, was being talked about to someone who didn’t know who he was. “I don’t know that guy.” “EVERYONE knows him!” — More descriptions followed — “Ohhhhh! You mean Head Down James?” So, done. Thou art henceforth Head Down James.

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