2013 Year in Preview

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Looking ahead to 2013, I foresee a lot of really cool stuff, and today I’m going to make some bold predictions, all of which are guaranteed to come true.

  1. I will start drinking beer again. Specifically, this will happen at the conclusion of the Belgian Waffle Ride, where I predict that I will be ground up like mashed potatos.
  2. Chris Froome will win the Tour de France.
  3. Chris Horner will win the Vuelta a Aburrido, and become the oldest mutant to ever win a grand tour.
  4. I will publish a book about cycling in the South Bay.
  5. Tim Roach will coach Tara Unversagt to multiple world masters titles on the track.
  6. Julie Cutts will win world masters titles in the time trial and on the road.
  7. Robert Efthimos will become an expectant father.
  8. SBBaby Seal and Manslaughter will give me a birthday gift card for the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, and it will actually have money left on it.
  9. Charon Smith will end the year with 1,582 Facebook friends, only 1,580 of whom are insanely jealous of his success.
  10. Sherri Foxworthy will teach me some very cool new expressions, none of which use the word “fuck.”
  11. Chris Lotts will put on a bunch of good bike races and only anger half the participants with his pre-race announcements.
  12. Mike Hecker will put on a lights-out race series in Santa Barbara County.
  13. Neil Shirley will win the BWR.
  14. SPY Optic will enjoy another year of uninterrupted growth, and CEO Michael Marckx will get promoted to the board of directors.
  15. While American debates Duck Dynasty, Congress will fast-track legislation that further curtails freedom and fundamental human rights.
  16. Kevin Phillips will set an hour record.
  17. I will crash and hit my head at 40 mph and walk away from it with only moderate brain damage, which will be undetectable from my previous state.
  18. The kimchi South Bay Biker Diet will come to an ignominious end and all the lost weight will be rediscovered.
  19. I will ride more than 14,000 miles on my bike.
  20. It will be a wonderful year.

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